The Envelope

During our many long car trips in Ireland (more on the trip later) the main topic of discussion was, 'will we find out?' Ultimately, we decided to. An overview of some of the 'whys' is in Gender Wars. A big part of our decision is based on the fact that I have to go in every 2 weeks to one doctor for an ultrasound and then to another doctor about every 4 weeks, sometimes with ultrasounds. I feel like chances are that at some point during one of these appointments I will be able to tell, or a doctor or nurse will say he/she and that is not how we want to find out. The final factor for me really, is that I just want to know and be able to bond with he or she. The 'it' stuff just gets to me, and I am such a type-A personality, that I'm sure the planning aspect has something to do with it as well.

I had my 16 week appointment today and, along with 6 new pictures to add to the family photo album (including one cute zoomed in shot of a tiny foot and toes posted below), I also have a big envelope. Inside that envelope is the answer to whether it is a boy or girl. I'm not exactly sure when we will open it, but knowing how incredibly patient I am, probably soon. We will not, however, likely be sharing the gender with the whole world (i.e. Facebook). We may keep it our little secret for awhile, or start telling everyone. Time will tell, but don't be disappointed if I don't share right away! Everyone will know eventually one way or another.

Feel free to post gender guesses in the meantime to test your psychic abilities :)

Here are some new photos.

This is a good side view showing the head and belly. Quality isn't great since it is a picture of a picture, but you can make out the ear and face pretty well. (and I apologize, I still haven't figured out how to rotate images on here).

 

And here is the toes picture. Those blurry little dots are the toes.

New Travel Worries

In two days we leave for Ireland (YAY!). I am so excited to be away without my iPhone and seven hours ahead of Denver time. It feels good to email clients right now and say, "I will be out of the country and unreachable."

There are, however, a few new concerns added to my usual list of worries when traveling.

1) Attire. I have not "popped" and most of my regular clothes still fit. I know that this will not last forever. I have used my trusty Belly Band twice now (BTW- I want to kiss whoever invented that), but haven't had to make it an every day accessory. We are going to be gone a total of ten days. Under normal circumstances, I would never think, "gee, will that fit me in a week?" Now, I have to pack very thoughtfully. A lot can change in a week, especially now. For example, last week I wore the same skirt that I am wearing today. Last week it zipped all the way up, though I didn't hook it at the top. Today, I have the zipper down a full two inches so that I can breath. Each item that I have considered packing has to pass the following test: is it stretchy or can it be worn with the Belly Band? Also, shirts that are normally a staple for travel look gross now, as my belly is starting to just look like a fat bulge above my pants. Accordingly, each shirt must be tried on to make sure it fits and looks reasonably acceptable with pants. I tried to go shopping for some cute loose shirts this past weekend, but it was a complete failure. Perhaps I should start designing maternity clothes since the selection is not impressive or affordable. I might be wearing the same three tops the entire trip.

2) Flights. I am a pretty stationary flyer. I do not like to get up a lot. I usually hunker down in my seat and stay put. For a 6.5 hour overnight flight, I would probably be taking a sleep aid to sleep the majority of the flight. Pregnancy = an increased risk for blood clots, especially in the air. Instead of sleeping and staying in my seat, I have been instructed to get up and walk every hour. EVERY HOUR! I realize I'm being a little bit dramatic, but we leave our house at 4:00am on Thursday and arrive in Dublin at 5:25am on Friday. There are three flights in between with no lengthy layovers for naps. I am going to be tired and grumpy with not sleeping for more than an hour at a time. I'm thinking I will need to set a timer on my iPod or something so that I actually get up walk every hour. Here's hoping our Dublin hotel has a room available for early check in so that we can at least get a little TWO hour nap in on Friday :)

3) Essentials. I am now using special products for almost every aspect of my daily hygiene and vanity routine. This includes special face wash, lotions, shampoo, conditioner, detergent, etc. that are fragrance free and, as much as possible, free of other yucky chemicals. Normally when I travel, I only bring items I can't buy and toss there, or if I do pack all of my essentials and forget something that is important, I can just buy it there. This may not be true in Ireland. I'm sure they sell most things we have here, but what if they don't? And if they do, will it be ridiculously expensive? The exchange rate is not in our favor at the moment. Accordingly, I am making lists so that I can check off everything so that I don't have to worry about it.

Now, I will stop whining. I cannot wait for our last big vacation as a couple. I am pretty sure I will tell our child later that they have been to Ireland, though ;) I'll post photos and some trip highlights when we get back!

Gender Wars

To know, or not to know the baby's gender. That is the big question.

From long before the time I was pregnant, I have been convinced that I do not want to find out what we're having before the baby is born. There are so few surprises anymore- this seems like a great one. Go nine months wondering and guessing, knowing that no matter what, we will find out. Also, this could be a money saving idea. This reason was brought to my attention once I knew I was pregnant. If I know what we are having, then I will have the impulse to buy every cute pink/blue thing I saw, many of which I would never need and I'd be throwing money away. Plus, neutral items can be used again if our second child happens to not be the same sex as the first. I also don't want to end up with a ton of cute clothes in blue/pink that we won't even get to by the time our child outgrows them because everyone was so excited to buy cute clothes. I have heard that people buy more practical gifts when the sex is unknown because it's less fun to buy neutral clothes. At this point, I think I prefer practical and essential over cute and gender themed. This is very logical and responsible reasoning, if you ask me. I even convinced Jay. We were leaving Babies R' Us the day after finding out that we were going to be parents. He assumed we'd find out and seemed somewhat surprised that I was so dead set against it. I told him my reasoning and managed to bring him over to my side.

However, perhaps it's my hormones that are messing with my judgment, I am rethinking my stance. This morning, while half sleeping between Thomas' dives off the bed and then his whining to be let back on the bed, I had some sort of half dream or thought about finding out. Following this, I keep weighing the idea back and forth in my head. It seems silly that this little thought is invading what seemed to be a pretty solid plan that I have been committed to. I really don't care about the decorating/clothes issue. I have no problem with neutral colors, and think we will stick to a lot of neutral themes either way (again- I am all about the idea of reusing). What is swaying me somewhat is the idea that perhaps bonding with my baby will be a different experience if early on I am bonding with my 'baby boy' or 'baby girl' instead of 'it.' It seems as though I might have a greater sense of 'knowing' the baby when it is born if I already know that it is a girl/boy. Since I do not have any prior experience in this realm and cannot compare one experience to the other, I am feeling slightly stuck. Also, I know couples who have found out early and others who didn't, and all clearly love their children and bonded with them regardless of the point at which they figured out when their baby was 'he' or 'she.'

Maybe the only reason I am feeling like I want to find out is that, possibly at the next ultrasound, I can. Or maybe it is something else? And no, we will not be raising our child as 'it' like those crazy parents on the news right now!

Breaking the News

Since the day I found out I was pregnant, a weight sitting steadily upon my shoulders has been the reality that, at some point, I would have to tell my boss. Now, I don't want to imply that my boss wouldn't be happy for me, or would be angry, but the reality is, I work in an office in which all of the attorneys with children are male, and the last (and only) woman in the office to take maternity leave was pregnant approximately twelve years ago. Needless to say, I have been extremely nervous and concerned about what kind of reaction I would receive. Following our 12 week appointment, I decided that I needed to tell my boss this week, before I start showing and the women in the office figure it out, and before we go to Ireland, because I didn't want to seem deceptive.

Yesterday, I couldn't take it anymore. I decided "today's the day" and spent the day waiting for the perfect opportunity to break the news (as if there could be a perfect opportunity). I went in to my boss's office to help him with something else, and thought, "Okay, now! Do it!," but he was grumpy and rather short so I chickened out. A few hours later, I finally sucked it up, and went to talk to him. I closed his door as I told him I wanted to talk to him about something and he said, "Well, that sure is a big smile on your face!" That made it easier to tell him and I was pleasantly shocked by his reaction. He was absolutely thrilled and happy with the news-I'm not sure I've ever seen him smile that big! It was such a HUGE relief to have told him, especially given that he is so happy for us, and supportive.

Now, I have also told most of the other people in my office and everyone is so excited and thoughtful. One of the partners just took me out to lunch to celebrate and I have been getting lots of advice already from the many moms here. Our child will have many aunts from my office. I even already have offers to babysit. I hope those offers are still good in a year!

Whew! I get more and more excited the more people I tell. It's fun to have other people joining in the joy that Jay and I have been experiencing for the last two months.

Times, they are a changin'

Having just passed the 12 week milestone of my pregnancy and entering my second trimester, it has hit me that our child will be here in six months!

Yesterday, we had our second ultrasound and I cannot believe how much our little baby (it is now about the size of a peach) has changed in the six weeks since our first ultrasound. At that appointment, it literally looked like nothing more than just a bean. It was a little thing with a beating heart. Now, it looks just like what it is- a baby! It has tiny little arms and legs, feet, ten fingers, and a big head. I was shocked to see how developed it was. The ultrasound showed its brain and spine and its little bones. The baby was going crazy during the ultrasound, bouncing and wiggling all over the place. At one point, it even looked like it was waving to us.

I have been such a worrier ever since I found out I was pregnant. I have been so scared that if I get too excited, start planning too early and getting things ready, or tell too many people too soon, I will jinx it and something will go wrong. Up until yesterday, I was convinced that something was wrong. I haven't had morning sickness, only afternoon sour stomach (as I refer to it), and while I do feel chubby and have the lovely acne of a teenage boy, I haven't felt that 'pregnant.' It was reassuring to see that little baby bouncing around on the screen, with all as it should be at this stage and growth even a little ahead of schedule. Seeing that I am, in fact, pregnant, and the baby is as it should be at this stage lightened a lot of my concerns. So far  all is well (knock on wood).

These are pictures I took of the ultrasound print outs, so the quality isn't great and I can't figure out how to rotate them, but you get the idea.