Gender Wars

To know, or not to know the baby's gender. That is the big question.

From long before the time I was pregnant, I have been convinced that I do not want to find out what we're having before the baby is born. There are so few surprises anymore- this seems like a great one. Go nine months wondering and guessing, knowing that no matter what, we will find out. Also, this could be a money saving idea. This reason was brought to my attention once I knew I was pregnant. If I know what we are having, then I will have the impulse to buy every cute pink/blue thing I saw, many of which I would never need and I'd be throwing money away. Plus, neutral items can be used again if our second child happens to not be the same sex as the first. I also don't want to end up with a ton of cute clothes in blue/pink that we won't even get to by the time our child outgrows them because everyone was so excited to buy cute clothes. I have heard that people buy more practical gifts when the sex is unknown because it's less fun to buy neutral clothes. At this point, I think I prefer practical and essential over cute and gender themed. This is very logical and responsible reasoning, if you ask me. I even convinced Jay. We were leaving Babies R' Us the day after finding out that we were going to be parents. He assumed we'd find out and seemed somewhat surprised that I was so dead set against it. I told him my reasoning and managed to bring him over to my side.

However, perhaps it's my hormones that are messing with my judgment, I am rethinking my stance. This morning, while half sleeping between Thomas' dives off the bed and then his whining to be let back on the bed, I had some sort of half dream or thought about finding out. Following this, I keep weighing the idea back and forth in my head. It seems silly that this little thought is invading what seemed to be a pretty solid plan that I have been committed to. I really don't care about the decorating/clothes issue. I have no problem with neutral colors, and think we will stick to a lot of neutral themes either way (again- I am all about the idea of reusing). What is swaying me somewhat is the idea that perhaps bonding with my baby will be a different experience if early on I am bonding with my 'baby boy' or 'baby girl' instead of 'it.' It seems as though I might have a greater sense of 'knowing' the baby when it is born if I already know that it is a girl/boy. Since I do not have any prior experience in this realm and cannot compare one experience to the other, I am feeling slightly stuck. Also, I know couples who have found out early and others who didn't, and all clearly love their children and bonded with them regardless of the point at which they figured out when their baby was 'he' or 'she.'

Maybe the only reason I am feeling like I want to find out is that, possibly at the next ultrasound, I can. Or maybe it is something else? And no, we will not be raising our child as 'it' like those crazy parents on the news right now!