I have WAY more questions than I did going into it. It is good, because it made us realize what we don't know and the things that we need to think about, but my brain is jam-packed with as many new questions as there is new knowledge! I am so glad that we took the class. There are also infant safety, infant care, and breastfeeding classes that I think we will take too, especially after this class.
My big question for the audience: did you get an epidural? If so, did it negatively impact breastfeeding and your child's ability to latch? Also, did you notice any other adverse effects on your baby? My doctor says that nothing actually gets to the baby, but the class talked about the fact that babies are often "sluggish" after birth when mom had an epidural, and have a harder time latching and there can be breastfeeding challenges. I'm also afraid of other long term effects on the baby that maybe haven't been studied. I have NO desire to prove anything to anyone by having un-medicated labor, but now I'm freaked out about the risks. My doctor said that the advantage to epidurals is that it can help speed up delivery because anxiety and fear can slwo delivery when the mom is in so much pain, and that it makes it a more pleasant experience because mom is present and aware, but not in as much pain. I definitely don't want the intravenous narcotics, as I don't like the idea of the drugs going directly to the baby, the risks of respiratory depression, and the fact that they give the baby a drug to counter-act the narcotics immediately after birth. Just seems like too many drugs going to my baby very early in his little life.
Also, did anyone use a doula? I have emailed one and am considering meeting with her, but I don't know anyone that has used them. The doula websites all tout these great statistical advantages to using a doula, but these are listed on pro-doula websites, so I don't trust the accuracy or objectivity of the statistics and information.
We also got to do a tour of the labor and delivery rooms, mom and baby rooms, and saw the nursery. I am so glad that we are going to be at such a great hospital. The staff seems great, everything really appears to have been designed well and with the families' best interests in mind, and I like that it is pretty new and really clean. It was helpful to learn what to do when I go into labor, such as what hours the main entrance is open, when we'll need to go to emergency, and what to do if no one is at the registration desk. These are all good things to know, and better to know in advance when we aren't panicking.
Watching the videos in class of moms giving birth wasn't as horrifying as I was preparing myself for, and it was so amazing to see them all meeting their new babies. It made me so excited to meet our little guy!!!
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Little Kicker
Short video of the kicking today. Of course as soon as I stop recording he really puts some effort into it, but he did move some for this video...
I realize that this may not be exciting to any of you who have experienced this, but it is so crazy for me. It is so strange to have this part of my body that is completely out of my control. My baby's movements are completely his own and I have no control over them (other than changing positions, music, etc., but it's really all up to him). Crazy!
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Graduation
If you are a male, not comfortable with the words used to describe female anatomy, or medical terms, I recommend that you DO NOT READ THIS POST! If you decide to anyway, don't say I didn't warn you...
I will try to not go into too much detail here, but, again, this may be TMI. I apologize in advance.
First, some background. Around four and a half years ago, I had the joy of learning that I was reproductively challenged. I had a uterine septum (basically a wall separating the left and right sides of my uterus) and two cervixes (cervices?). This was not exactly great news, but it was "repairable" via surgery, and if "repaired" I was told that I would have a good chance of becoming pregnant in the future. The real blessing here was that I found this out well before thinking about babies, rather than miscarrying or not being able to get pregnant and then finding out about this anatomical anomaly. I was lucky to find a great surgeon and, two surgeries later, I was told I should be good to go whenever I decided it was time for babies. While I had been given the go ahead, I have still been very nervous every since that I would have major problems. Two years ago I started getting ovarian cysts, one of which was 9 cm (3.5 inches!) across and was definitely the most painful experience that I have ever had. That didn't add an additional hurdle to getting pregnant, but I was warned that if I had one when I got pregnant, it could be risky. So, just another little thing to worry about.
When we started "trying" I had my hopes very low, and expected that we would not have an easy time of it given my history. I was partially right, in that I did not get pregnant the first time we tried, nor many times after that. Thankfully, however, I, obviously, did get pregnant and everything has been great.
Because of my cervixes, however, I have had to visit the neonatologist every two weeks for cervical checks to make sure that both cervixes are "competent." My surgeon had initially said that he thought that one was incompetent, so it was important to keep a close eye on them to make sure they were doing their job and keeping the baby safe. I haven't particularly minded the appointments, but they have added extra time away from work, the fun of transvaginal ultrasounds every two weeks, and neonatologist appointments are not cheap (but they have helped me meet my $5,000 deductible MUCH faster). The good news is that every time that I have gone in, everything has been fine.
Today, at 28 weeks and 3 days pregnant, I was told that I have "graduated" and don't need to go in for cervical checks anymore! Apparently, because I have made it this far without any problems, my doctors are confident that my cervixes are capable of doing their job, and will continue to do so for the remainder of my pregnancy. Though I kind of liked the bi-weekly reminder that everything is okay, it is such a relief to know that my body is doing what it is supposed to, and, hopefully, I don't need to worry anymore.
Time for the final haul! 11 weeks and 4 days until my due date!
I will try to not go into too much detail here, but, again, this may be TMI. I apologize in advance.
First, some background. Around four and a half years ago, I had the joy of learning that I was reproductively challenged. I had a uterine septum (basically a wall separating the left and right sides of my uterus) and two cervixes (cervices?). This was not exactly great news, but it was "repairable" via surgery, and if "repaired" I was told that I would have a good chance of becoming pregnant in the future. The real blessing here was that I found this out well before thinking about babies, rather than miscarrying or not being able to get pregnant and then finding out about this anatomical anomaly. I was lucky to find a great surgeon and, two surgeries later, I was told I should be good to go whenever I decided it was time for babies. While I had been given the go ahead, I have still been very nervous every since that I would have major problems. Two years ago I started getting ovarian cysts, one of which was 9 cm (3.5 inches!) across and was definitely the most painful experience that I have ever had. That didn't add an additional hurdle to getting pregnant, but I was warned that if I had one when I got pregnant, it could be risky. So, just another little thing to worry about.
When we started "trying" I had my hopes very low, and expected that we would not have an easy time of it given my history. I was partially right, in that I did not get pregnant the first time we tried, nor many times after that. Thankfully, however, I, obviously, did get pregnant and everything has been great.
Because of my cervixes, however, I have had to visit the neonatologist every two weeks for cervical checks to make sure that both cervixes are "competent." My surgeon had initially said that he thought that one was incompetent, so it was important to keep a close eye on them to make sure they were doing their job and keeping the baby safe. I haven't particularly minded the appointments, but they have added extra time away from work, the fun of transvaginal ultrasounds every two weeks, and neonatologist appointments are not cheap (but they have helped me meet my $5,000 deductible MUCH faster). The good news is that every time that I have gone in, everything has been fine.
Today, at 28 weeks and 3 days pregnant, I was told that I have "graduated" and don't need to go in for cervical checks anymore! Apparently, because I have made it this far without any problems, my doctors are confident that my cervixes are capable of doing their job, and will continue to do so for the remainder of my pregnancy. Though I kind of liked the bi-weekly reminder that everything is okay, it is such a relief to know that my body is doing what it is supposed to, and, hopefully, I don't need to worry anymore.
Time for the final haul! 11 weeks and 4 days until my due date!
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Another Uncomfortable Conversation Out of the Way
As I have stated, maybe multiple times, on this blog, I have been facing semi-uncharted territory when it comes to maternity leave at my office. The last and only person to take maternity leave was over twelve years ago, she is a secretary, and there were only three people in the office back then. As we have considered and discussed my leave, child care, etc. it has been surrounded by "ifs" relating to how long I'll have of. When I first told my boss that I was pregnant, I discussed the possibility of part-time and he said something along the lines of "we will make whatever work."I have wondered, however, if that would still be true now that he has had time to think about it, and the reality of me being gone for weeks is getting closer.
Working in a small office can have its advantages and disadvantages when it comes to leave. When you are pregnant everyone says, "Oh! You are protected by FMLA! They have to give you 12 weeks. They can't fire you for being out sick or at doctor appointments." The books also say similar things without mentioning the caveats. FMLA does NOT apply to everyone. It only applies to businesses with a certain number of employees (something like 20 or 25 and above) and public/government agencies. My firm has fewer than 20 employees and is not a government agency. Therefore, I can be fired for missing too much work, and my firm has no minimum amount of leave that it has to offer. I also do not have short-term disability coverage which, at many companies, results in paid leave. Any payment I receive while out on leave will be from my accrued vacation and sick time, which thankfully I do have remaining.
In approaching this conversation with my boss, I have been very nervous. Our "handbook" says that an employee can take up to eight weeks off. My secretary has no recollection of how long she took, but she was able to bring her babies into work with her back then because it was such a small office, so it was a totally different arrangement. My office is directly behind reception and across the hall from our conference room. I cannot imagine that a screaming baby would go over very well.
Today I had the talk. I asked my boss if he had an idea of how long he was comfortable with me taking, or if he had given it any thought, but he said no, only that he knew the handbook says eight weeks. I pointed out that if we were under FMLA, I would be entitled to twelve, and that I was hoping for that. He pondered it, but ultimately said, "okay, that works." I then brought up part-time. Ideally, I was hoping for eight weeks of part-time, coming in full days three days a week, staying home two. I could tell he wasn't thrilled about the part-time prospect, and when I mentioned three days a week, he instead proposed half days so that I would be in here each day in case an emergency came up. I told him childcare could be difficult on that schedule, as our daycare allows for drop-in days, but you have to pay for a full day, so really we'd be paying for full-time childcare when the baby would only be there part-time and I would only be bringing in half of my usual income. Doesn't quite equate. He said we can discuss if we aren't able to figure out childcare. I am hoping that we can find a family that does childcare from their home and would be okay with part-time, or a college student that has afternoon/evening class and is looking for a part-time job in the mornings. The real issue will be making sure we have coverage if I get stuck at work past my set "clock-out" time. At least with an in-home daycare, they could probably keep him and I can just pay for the extra time, or a nanny could bring the baby to my office if she needed to be somewhere. We settled on six weeks of part-time, so hopefully we can find childcare for those six weeks!
I am relieved to now know how much time I will have and am grateful that my boss is so understanding and was willing to discuss it with me and consider my opinion. He could have easily told me that the policy is eight weeks, end of story. I am looking forward to having twelve weeks with my little guy and six weeks to transition into being a working mom.
Working in a small office can have its advantages and disadvantages when it comes to leave. When you are pregnant everyone says, "Oh! You are protected by FMLA! They have to give you 12 weeks. They can't fire you for being out sick or at doctor appointments." The books also say similar things without mentioning the caveats. FMLA does NOT apply to everyone. It only applies to businesses with a certain number of employees (something like 20 or 25 and above) and public/government agencies. My firm has fewer than 20 employees and is not a government agency. Therefore, I can be fired for missing too much work, and my firm has no minimum amount of leave that it has to offer. I also do not have short-term disability coverage which, at many companies, results in paid leave. Any payment I receive while out on leave will be from my accrued vacation and sick time, which thankfully I do have remaining.
In approaching this conversation with my boss, I have been very nervous. Our "handbook" says that an employee can take up to eight weeks off. My secretary has no recollection of how long she took, but she was able to bring her babies into work with her back then because it was such a small office, so it was a totally different arrangement. My office is directly behind reception and across the hall from our conference room. I cannot imagine that a screaming baby would go over very well.
Today I had the talk. I asked my boss if he had an idea of how long he was comfortable with me taking, or if he had given it any thought, but he said no, only that he knew the handbook says eight weeks. I pointed out that if we were under FMLA, I would be entitled to twelve, and that I was hoping for that. He pondered it, but ultimately said, "okay, that works." I then brought up part-time. Ideally, I was hoping for eight weeks of part-time, coming in full days three days a week, staying home two. I could tell he wasn't thrilled about the part-time prospect, and when I mentioned three days a week, he instead proposed half days so that I would be in here each day in case an emergency came up. I told him childcare could be difficult on that schedule, as our daycare allows for drop-in days, but you have to pay for a full day, so really we'd be paying for full-time childcare when the baby would only be there part-time and I would only be bringing in half of my usual income. Doesn't quite equate. He said we can discuss if we aren't able to figure out childcare. I am hoping that we can find a family that does childcare from their home and would be okay with part-time, or a college student that has afternoon/evening class and is looking for a part-time job in the mornings. The real issue will be making sure we have coverage if I get stuck at work past my set "clock-out" time. At least with an in-home daycare, they could probably keep him and I can just pay for the extra time, or a nanny could bring the baby to my office if she needed to be somewhere. We settled on six weeks of part-time, so hopefully we can find childcare for those six weeks!
I am relieved to now know how much time I will have and am grateful that my boss is so understanding and was willing to discuss it with me and consider my opinion. He could have easily told me that the policy is eight weeks, end of story. I am looking forward to having twelve weeks with my little guy and six weeks to transition into being a working mom.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Last Post from the Second Trimester...
I cannot believe that this weekend I will be in my third trimester. Sometimes it feels like I have been pregnant FOREVER, but now I think back to when my third trimester just seemed sooooo far away. Now, here I am, just a few days away.
We had another baby "growth check" yesterday. Baby is still doing great! He is ahead on growth by about a week and a half now. The ultrasound tech said it's thanks to his big head and belly. When she was measuring his head, she said, "well, he does not have a dainty head." Once again, taking after dad. At least he'll have lots of room for all of the smarts that I'm sure he's also inherited from his dad. Everything else looked good and just as it should. He was awake and jumping around during our appointment, which was funny to watch on the monitor. He had his eyes open, so we got one picture of him that looks like he's staring right at us.
We also went and checked out the montessori yesterday. It was a really positive experience and I liked it. It was very clean, quiet and calm. The infant rooms seemed clean and safe for the babies to explore, and all of the babies there seemed happy and calm. Not too much screaming going on, which was good. They use a "baby buggy" that has four seats that they put the babies in for walks around the center and outside when it's nice. It was pretty cute to see these groups of babies riding around in the buggy. I could also go over for nursing or just random visits anytime, so that is a big plus. We will probably look at another place nearby just to be sure, but I think we found a winner. Now, just need to figure out what to do while I'm part-time and we'll be all set!
We had another baby "growth check" yesterday. Baby is still doing great! He is ahead on growth by about a week and a half now. The ultrasound tech said it's thanks to his big head and belly. When she was measuring his head, she said, "well, he does not have a dainty head." Once again, taking after dad. At least he'll have lots of room for all of the smarts that I'm sure he's also inherited from his dad. Everything else looked good and just as it should. He was awake and jumping around during our appointment, which was funny to watch on the monitor. He had his eyes open, so we got one picture of him that looks like he's staring right at us.
We also went and checked out the montessori yesterday. It was a really positive experience and I liked it. It was very clean, quiet and calm. The infant rooms seemed clean and safe for the babies to explore, and all of the babies there seemed happy and calm. Not too much screaming going on, which was good. They use a "baby buggy" that has four seats that they put the babies in for walks around the center and outside when it's nice. It was pretty cute to see these groups of babies riding around in the buggy. I could also go over for nursing or just random visits anytime, so that is a big plus. We will probably look at another place nearby just to be sure, but I think we found a winner. Now, just need to figure out what to do while I'm part-time and we'll be all set!
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Worries of a Child Care Novice...
Tomorrow is our official tour of the montessori we plan to use when I go back to work full-time. I am nervous! I don't know if I know what to look for or look out for. This place has really good reviews online, and is right across from my office, so I know that I'll be able to stop in and check on him any time if I'm feeling worried or something, but it is such a big deal! They will be guarding the life and well-being of our child! I have heard that montessories are better than daycare, but am not really sure what the difference is. Maybe they will tell us tomorrow. Any tips out there on what to look for and ask about?
I am also trying to figure out what to do and how to plan the weeks before we start at the montessori. I am hoping to go back to work part-time for a month or two if I can (yet to be set in stone and officially approved by the boss, but fingers crossed) and the montessori is full-time only. I want to ease back into working and still be able to have a few days home rather than just having a set date by which I need to have everything figured out. I am hoping to find someone to maybe nanny part-time, or try to find a neighbor or someone that could watch him from their home, but the nanny option looks to be maybe even more expensive than the montessori will be full-time, so I have no idea what to do. Has anyone used a "nanny share" and could you explain that to me? People have mentioned it and recommended it, but I have no clue what it means or how it actually works in practice...
I am also trying to figure out what to do and how to plan the weeks before we start at the montessori. I am hoping to go back to work part-time for a month or two if I can (yet to be set in stone and officially approved by the boss, but fingers crossed) and the montessori is full-time only. I want to ease back into working and still be able to have a few days home rather than just having a set date by which I need to have everything figured out. I am hoping to find someone to maybe nanny part-time, or try to find a neighbor or someone that could watch him from their home, but the nanny option looks to be maybe even more expensive than the montessori will be full-time, so I have no idea what to do. Has anyone used a "nanny share" and could you explain that to me? People have mentioned it and recommended it, but I have no clue what it means or how it actually works in practice...
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